Don't Leave Me This Way
by Amethyst Jackson
Summary: Harry tries to leave, Hermione does her worst to try and stop him, and yet... ~A second part is up~
1. Don't Leave Me This Way

Title: Don't Leave Me This Way

Author: Katie A.

Author E-mail: insufferable_know_it_all@hotmail.com

Category: Romance, Drama

Rating: PG-13

Keywords: Harry, Hermione, Voldemort, Another-Quest-In-Which-Harry-Goes-To-Kill-the-Dark-Lord-And-Hermione-Throws-A-Fit.

Summary: Another-Quest-In-Which-Harry-Goes-To-Kill-the-Dark-Lord-And-Hermione-Throws-A-Fit?

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 

Author's Note: Alas, too many H/Hr fics and seeing Moulin Rouge on HBO one too many times leads to fics like these. The title 'Don't Leave Me This Way' is from a scene in Moulin Rouge -- I know it's a real song, but I have no idea who sang/wrote it. If anyone knows, please e-mail me so I can fix the disclaimer.

*****

_I'm leaving, unless someone can give me a good reason to stay._

A good reason. What good reason did she have? Could she really tell him now, with everyone around? Could she find the courage to stop him? It didn't seem likely. Her feet remained planted firmly where they were, her throat remained blocked. If she could open her mouth, any sound that came out would be a sob. But she couldn't let him go. He would be walking into death's arms if she were to let him go alone.

"You can't leave, Harry," she said. She didn't need to cry out; the room had been silent since he had said those words. It didn't matter that her voice was soft and shaking; everyone heard.

He froze, rigid, his back to the room. "And why not?"

"You can't go alone," she announced. She could keep her private reasons hidden for now. She could convince him to stay without them.

He whirled around, eyes flaring, almost frightening. "I thought you, of all people, would understand. I _have_ to go alone. I can't take anyone with me."

"You could. You could let someone choose to go with you, rather than making the choice for them!" Hermione cried out, almost betraying the emotions that were quickly bubbling to the surface. 

"Is that what you want, Hermione? You want me to put people I care about in danger?"

"You know that's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?" he asked, quieting. The others in the room looked on in silence, and perhaps in fear of this new side Harry was showing.

"I want to go with you."

"You can't," Harry and Ron said unanimously. Hermione blinked at them, offended. How could they just tell her no?

"Yes, I very well can! Who are either of you to control me?"

"You're not going with me, Hermione!" Harry shouted, his temporary calm fading swiftly. 

And she couldn't be angry with him, because he was doing this for her sake. But she could feel frustrated. "Fine, Harry, if that's the way you want it. Force me to stay behind. I'll find you, though. Don't expect me to sit back and wait -- if you won't let me fight at your side, then I'll just have to fight for you any other way I can."

"You won't, Hermione," Harry said, his weariness becoming evident. "Please, can't you just --"

"Don't ask me to sit back and let you go, or to do nothing while we all wait to find out if you're alive or not! You know I won't."

"Why do you have to be so bloody difficult?"

"Me? You're the one who's too stubborn to accept any help!"

"Damnit, Hermione, don't twist my words around!"

Hermione suddenly realized how unbearably silent and how completely full the common room had become. Every Gryffindor from first to seventh year must have been packed in. And she had reached the need for her final weapon, one which she couldn't possibly use among all these people. 

In a sudden, decisive movement, she went to Harry and took him by the arm. "There's something I need to tell you. Alone," she added, casting a quick glare at the spectators, Ron especially.

Harry sighed. "Fine." He allowed her to lead him into the hallway outside the portrait hole. Once outside and sure they were truly alone, she relaxed.

"Harry -- you can't leave, not until you know..." she trailed off, gathering her wits. She wasn't prepared to tell him, to let him know. But why not? Everything was changing as it was, and for the worse. At least she could tell him before he disappeared for good.

Harry looked annoyed. "Know what, Hermione?"

"Damnit, Harry, how can you not see it?" she snapped, hands beginning to shake.

"See _what_?"

"God, Harry, you can't leave without me. You can't...because..." She sighed and looked at him for a moment. How could she phrase this? Oh, she had imagined thousands of times in her head the way she would profess her love to Harry, should it ever happen, but none of those inner dialogues seemed appropriate. More than once, she had considered a much simpler option. Oddly, it suddenly seemed more and more feasible. 

Well, why not? Desperate times call for desperate measures.

In less than two seconds, she was inches away from him. Framing his face with her hands, she took in a deep breath, and kissed him.

To say he tensed would be an understatement. Rather, he went completely rigid, as if suddenly Petrified. Hermione backed away quickly, knowing. Knowing that he couldn't possibly feel the same way, that he would never return the sentiment, that he would leave anyway. Without her. But for some reason, her heart refused to know it.

He was staring at her. Just staring. It was driving her absolutely mad.

"Oh, for the love of Merlin, say something, Harry!" she cried out.

He blinked. "Couldn't you have done that…sooner?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, excuse me. I'll just go get a Time-Turner and do it at a more opportune moment!"

"Don't get mad at me, Hermione. It's just -- You really don't know just how long I've wished you would do that, do you? And…damnit, you just had to do it when I can't do anything about! I've got to _go_, Hermione. I'm going, because I have to, and you're not coming with me. It's too dangerous."

Hermione found herself bemoaning the situation as well. He felt the same way, but it was too late. It wouldn't do any good.

"God, Harry, don't leave me behind. Please. You must understand -- you want to leave me here to protect me. But, Harry, I want to come to protect _you_."

"I don't need protection."

"Yes, you do!" Hermione shouted. "Harry, if it's your duty to protect the world, why shouldn't it be someone's duty to protect you?"

Harry shook his head. "It doesn't work that way, Hermione, you know it. Now, please, don't make this any harder. I've got to go."

He adjusted his bag on his shoulder, his expression shifting from annoyed to rueful. "I'm sorry," he added, starting to walk away.

"Don't," Hermione cried out, voice softening as she continued, "Don't leave me this way."

Harry turned around to look at her. "What do you want from me, Hermione?"

"Let me go with you."

"No."

Tears, stupid tears. Why did they have to force their way out at a time like this? 

"Don't cry," he whispered, suddenly very close to her.

"Why shouldn't I? There's no point in pretending anymore. There's hardly any point in…in anything!"

"Don't say that."

"Why can't you see it, Harry? You're not protecting me. You're just _hurting_ me. Can't you see that the only life I want is with you, and that a 'safe' life away from you is only going to kill me?"

He looked ruefully at her. "If I come back, I want to know that you're safe here, waiting for me."

"And if you don't come back, I don't want to be waiting here!"

"Hermione," he said intensely, tilting her face up to his. "Please. Please, don't do this. Do you think it's easy for me to leave you like this? Now that I know? It's the hardest thing I'll ever do, and you're not making it any easier!"

"Oh, so it's my job to make it easy, is it? If you won't stay, please, I'm begging you, _let me go with you!_"

Their eyes locked, to the point where Hermione was left to wonder if their fate depended on who won the staring contest. Harry blinked quite abruptly, however, and she knew he had won anyway.

She was suddenly jerked, and found herself quite literally smashed up against Harry to be given a thorough kiss. In the months ahead, she would often relive that kiss, wake up from dreams to feel the lingering sensation on her lips.

Harry pulled away, and said, softly, "I can't."


	2. Come Back to Me

Title: Come Back to Me

Author: Katie A.

Author E-mail: insufferable_know_it_all@hotmail.com

Category: Romance, Drama

Rating: PG-13

Keywords: Harry, Hermione, Voldemort, etc.

Summary: Harry returns from his battle with Voldemort.

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 

Author's Note: I went with a Moulin Rouge song again for a title -- from "Come What May", the lines 'come back to me/and forgive everything.'

*****

It was several months before Harry returned to Hogwarts. Hermione had nearly gone insane. At first, she had waited desperately for some word of him, so she could find him. Later on, she began to wait just to know if he was alive. And yet, she always seemed to convince herself that he wasn't dead, because if he were, wouldn't it kill her as well?

When he came back, he was bloody and bruised. He merely stumbled into the Entrance Hall one evening, dropping his broom just before he dropped to the floor, losing consciousness. It had been a little third year Ravenclaw who had seen him, and she had gone for McGonagall, who took him straight to the Hospital Wing. In fact, it wasn't until the next day at breakfast that Hermione and Ron were told, and by a student who they didn't even know, at that.

Hermione had leapt out of her seat, knocking over someone else's goblet of pumpkin juice, and had run to the Infirmary, Ron trailing behind. When they got there, however, Madame Pomfrey insisted they stay out.

"Please," she had said, "Keep your distance for now. With Harry's mental state as it is now, he must _not_ be excited. I will have you notified when he can be seen."

Hermione had very nearly broken down. Months and months of waiting for his return, and yet her was still out of her reach.

"Madame Pomfrey, can't I just…can't I just look at him?" Through tears, she added, "Please, I need to see him, just to know he's…he's really all right."

Showing rare sympathy for the visitors, Madame Pomfrey lead them back to a private room where Harry was sleeping. Quietly, she opened the door, and Hermione stepped in after her, her view initially blocked by the nurse. She stepped around her, however, and it was a moment before she fully took in Harry's appearance.

The first thing she noticed was that he was thinner. His bones jutted out clearly, his shoulders, arms, ribs, all sharply accentuated. He was shirtless; Hermione wondered if he had come back that way, and wondered again while Madame Pomfrey hadn't put pajamas on him. He was probably freezing. His skin was pale and white. It looked as if he were a skeleton, his skin the same color as bone, except for the new blemishes he wore – dark bruises, some small, some eerily large, and cuts, scabbed over, a few fresh and bandaged. 

Hermione felt her lip start to quiver, and her eyes stung with tears. This was her Harry, frightfully resembling a corpse. She couldn't help it; she cried. Vaguely, she felt an arm go around her and steer her out of the room. 

"Hermione," Ron said gently, "Harry will be fine. He's going to heal –"

"I know he will," Hermione interrupted with a sniffle. "It's just – seeing him like that. I can't bear it."

Ron looked sympathetic. "He does look pretty bad… Come on, let's get out of here before Madame Pomfrey takes us by force."

And so, they when to their classes, as if everything was normal. By then, nearly everyone knew about Harry's return, and were constantly questioning Hermione and Ron. They were often disappointed; they knew very little more than everyone else.

That night, Hermione found herself all alone in the common room, long after everyone else had gone to bed. She had to go see him again; that was all there was to it. How could she not? It would be dangerous, of course; Harry would have taken his Invisibility Cloak with him, so she would have to be quiet, and sneaky. Harry was worth it, though. It didn't matter how many detentions she got trying to get to him.

Decisively, she put a silencing charm on her slippers and headed out the portrait hole, ignoring the inquiries of the Fat Lady as she headed toward the Hospital Wing. Surprisingly, the only problem was a near run-in with Flitwick, but he was easy enough to hide from. It wasn't long before she was creeping into the Hospital Wing, putting Silencing Charms on the doors as she opened them.

Finally, she was alone with Harry. He was unconscious, but dreaming. She could see his eyes moving beneath the lids. He murmured something unintelligible as she sat down on the bed beside him. 

"Harry?" she whispered to him, wondering if there was any danger in trying to wake him. Madame Pomfrey had said he wasn't in the best of mental health, but…was he sane enough to speak to her, calmly?

"'Mione," she heard him mumble. She watched his face carefully; he was obviously quite asleep. "Hermione," he said again, "You can't take her…"

Hermione froze. He was having a nightmare. On its own, her hand went to smooth back the hair from his forehead – it had now become very long. He made an indistinct sound, but seemed more peaceful.

"They won't take me, Harry," she whispered instinctively. "They're gone now; they can't get me."

Hermione moved to stroke his cheek. There was a scar there now; she wondered what had happened to create it. It seemed entirely healed, however. She sighed. How many scars would he have, in the end? 

Her eyes shifted, and she realized with a start that Harry was now awake. She froze. How would he react?

Harry smiled. And she relaxed, continuing to tenderly run her thumb along his cheek.

"Can you forgive me?" he asked hoarsely. "I'm sorry – for everything that happened before I left, and for never writing – I would have, if I could have taken Hedwig, or borrowed an owl – I –"

"Shh," she interrupted, "There was never anything to forgive. You did what you had to do. Don't worry about a thing."

"He's dead," Harry rasped. His mouth curved, the barest of smiles. "Maybe this will be my last time in the Hospital Wing."

Hermione chuckled, though his words had left her with the heaviest kind of relief. "Knowing you, I doubt it."

With a slight grimace, Harry shifted. 

"Are you in a lot of pain?" she asked. The thought that all of his battle wounds might actually be hurting him at this point hadn't quite crossed her mind.

"Not anymore," he said sweetly, and Hermione felt her cheeks burn. Harry's romantic side was something she had never seen, but she had a feeling she would enjoy it.

"Hermione?"

"Hmm?"

"I've been awake for at least two minutes, and I still haven't gotten a proper kiss out of you."

"Oh, what a terrible hardship," she said sarcastically, though she couldn't stop a smirk.

Harry pouted. "It really is." He attempted to sit up on his elbows, and winced. Hermione pushed him back down.

"Don't go trying to get up. You'll end up hurting yourself even more." 

Slowly, she leaned forward and offered him the previously discussed kiss. His lips were rougher than she remember, but she supposed three months doing God-knows-what could do that to a person. Nevertheless, this kiss was much more enjoyable than their first two.

Hermione broke away, smiling shyly. Harry grinned in response, saying, "Well, it seems I can die happily now. Granted, I could die a lot happier if I could have another fifty years or so of that."

"We just might be able to work that out."

~el fin~ 


End file.
